MAKKALA' ala Pasar Sentral Part IV

Cowo : (lagi makan dan ngajak makan) ''Dek, eh, makanki'eee!"
Cewe : ''Iyye, masih kenyangja'...''
Cowo : (nyodorin tangan buat menyuap) ''Sinimi, kusuapiko, Dek. Kalau sisaku mumakan langsung pintarko mengaji''


''Es, es putar, es putar, es putaaaaar, siapa bilang es tidak dingiiiin...''


A : ''Weh, pinjam duluwe sendokmu!''
B : ''Inieeee'' (nyodorin sendok)
A : ''Sudahmi mucuci ini?''
B : ''Iyooo, mdedeh segitunaaa...''
A : ''Betulanko?''
B : ''Iyo, sudahmi kucelupkan juga di Sungai Gangga*''
*selokan di belakang lapak.


A : ''Weh, masih cari (si C--->korban bully) 4 orang buat bikin baju kaos, buat bikin geng AGM''
B : ''Apa bede itu AGM?''
A : "Anak Gagahna Makassar...'' (semua tertawa, sementara si C senyum-senyum dijadikan bahan candaan)
B : ''Kenapa tosseng 4 orangji?''
A : ''Supaya genapki 5, karena diami ketuanaaa, capekmi bede' gabung di Lavender''
B : ''Apa lagi sede' itu Lavender, minyak rambut?''
A : "Laki-laki Penuh Derita, hahahaha..''


Setelah 17agustusan, banyak TNI yang lalu lalang.
''Weh, weh, kacang polong kacang polong lewat''


Pembeli : ''Mauka kemeja ini, Dek. Tiga lembar, selembarji inie''
Penjual : ''Iye, sudahmaki dicarikan, nda ada Bu. Ada di rumah stokku, Bu. Kalau mauki kubawakanki besok''
Pembeli : ''Betulannah? Jam berapa?''
Penjual : ''Iye, jam sembilan pagi adama', Bu''
si A : (nyeletuk) ''Baa, Bu. Gampangmi itu, sudahmaki dicarikan na nda adaki. Kalau perlu, titip maami nomor rekeningta'!''
si B : (jitak kepala si A) ''Bodo'na iniee, ta'baleki kapang. Kau yang kasihki nomor rekeningmu sama Ibu''
si A : ''Cocokmi, sinimi nomor rekeningta, Bu, kutransferkanki tuyul''


si A sibuk memencet hpnya, sedang mati total.
si B : "Kenapai hpnu?"
si A : "Nda mauki hidup"
si B : "Apa merkna hapemu? Sini bede!"
si A : (memberi hp ke si B)
si B : "Oh.. Merk ARFAN"


bersambung...

Bondan Prakoso feat Kikan Namara - Zombie (The Cranberries cover)

Baru nemu video ini, yeah, baru nyadar kalau keunikan suara Dolores O'Riordan mirip dengan suara Kikan Namara. OOT, selalu suka penampilan Kikan, termasuk selera fashionnya, apa saja yang dikenakannya. :)

MAKKALA' ala Pasar Sentral Part III

Saya gagal paham, mengapa ada orang yang mengelompokkan humor "cerdas" dan humor "rendahan", memuja Stand Up Comedy sedangkan mencela acara macam OVJ. Saya hanya bisa bilang itu "alternatif", gak ada yang bagus maupun jelek, semua sama fungsinya, menghibur, untuk entertain. Toh, para komik pada akhirnya banyak juga yang harus kecemplung ke acara-acara dan terlibat film (terbilang) gampangan.

Akhir-akhir ini merasa lebih mudah tertawa, tiap hari ketika pembeli sedang sepi, justru kamilah para penjual yang saling sahutmenyahut, ada yang menyanyi, ada juga yang sekedar ngobrol, tapi paling rame kalau tiba-tiba ada celetuk lucu yang muncul untuk mengusir ngantuk dan bosan. Contoh kecil, teman penjual di depan, kami tak pernah saling mengenalkan nama, maka untuk memanggil saya atau perempuan lain yang tak dia tahu namanya, dia akan memanggilnya dengan sembarang nama, misal Sapna, Samanta, atau Sakati. Halhal seperti itu menggelikan, hehehe, berikut kondisikondisi lucu lainnya... *baru sempat jelasin panjang lebar padahal sudah part 3 khusus tema ini.


"Cari apaki cewe', celana botol, lengkap, pakek kantong, pakek AC, pakek remote!"


si A : "Weh, kucaricariki di lapaknya Aji penjual kerudung, berentimaki paeng dih di sana.."
si B : "Iye, sayang, di sinika lagi konser jualan baju ma celana"
*konser, maksudnya teriakteriak nawarin barang ke calon pembeli


si A : "Weh, ada tadi polisi kau we di sini"
si B : "Iyo kauweee, apa ngaseng kejadian di sebelah sede'."
si A : "Apanya bede mukentarai bilang polisi betulan itu?"
si B : "Itu tulisan di kaosna, punggungna, bacana POLICE..."
si A : "Seriusko? Gappaka tulisannya POP ICE na kau kira bacana Polisi, Ne'aang"


bersambung...

MAKKALA' ala Pasar Sentral Part II

Bulan puasa, si B seorang lelaki pada jam dua siang terlihat merokok.
A (cewe') : "Mdedeh, nda puasako?"
B (cowo') : "Baaah, puasaja'!"
A : "Baru jam dua, namarakokmokooo!"
B : "Buka puasama' ini, sotta'. Saya puasa full setengah hari, jadi total puasaku 15 hari donggooo!"


A : "Weh, ayok pi karokean"
B : "Iyo, panggil semuaki personilka"
C : "Nda' bisaka saya ikut!"
A : "Ngapamoeee, malam mingguji lagi"
C : "Ih, kaaa capekki, mau istirahat"
B : "Sudahmi, jangko gangguki Rapunzel (si C)"


Si Bos : "Jam berapami, dek?"
Anak buah : "Setengah enammi, bu"
Si Bos : "Okeee, angkatmi jemuran!" (maksudnya rapikan jualan karena sudah akan ditutup)


Si A : "Weh, berapa jahitannya tanganmu?"
Si B : (sambil memegang tangannya yang habis di jahit) "Tujuh"
Si A : "Berapa mubayaranki?"
Si B : "Tiga ratus lima puluh kauwe, mahalnaaaa"
Si A : "Tapi bagus to, itu jahitannya tidak dilepasmi karena jadi dagingmi nanti"
Si C : "Iyo tawwa, coco'mi, banyak dudui goyammu pas pembukaaan dua"
Si B : "Memangnya saya perempuan bisa melahirkan!" *kesel
Si C : "Tapi memang mahal tawwa, karena rambutna ikan hiu itu benang jahitnya, ahahahaha"


Si A : (ngajak teman di depannya untuk minum minuman bersoda) "Weh, minuum!"
Si B : "Tidak, trima kasih, nalarangka dokter pribadiku minum minuman bersoda"
Si A : "Gayaaaaanuuu, dokter pribadi, palingan dukun pribadi!''


bersambung...

Dave Grohl's SXSW Keynote Speech (2013)

.... Fuck guilty pleasure. How about . . . just pleasure? I can truthfully say, out loud, that "Gangnam Style" is one of my favorite fucking songs of the past decade. It is! Is it any better or worse than the latest Atoms for Peace album? Hmmmm . . . If only we had a celebrity panel of judges to determine that for us! What would J-Lo do? Paging Pitchfork, come in, come in!!! Pitchfork, we need you to help us determine the value of a song!!! Who fucking cares!!!! I fucking LOVE IT!!! Who is to say what's a good voice and what's not a good voice. The Voice? Imagine Bob Dylan standing there singing "Blowin in the Wind" in front of Christina Aguilera. "Mmmmm . . . I think you sound a little nasally and sharp. Next . . ." ....


When Kurt died, I was lost. I was numb. The music that I had devoted my life to had now betrayed me and broken my heart. I had . . . no voice. I turned off the radio, I put away my records, and packed up my drums. I couldn't bear to hear someone elses voice singing about pain, or joy, or love, or hate. Not one note. It just hurt much too much.

But eventually . . . that feeling that I had Independence Day, July 4th, 1983, at the base of the Lincoln memorial steps, that feeling came back to me. The same feeling that made me feel possessed and empowered and inspired and enraged, and so in love with life, and so in love with music that it had the power to incite a riot, or an emotion, or start a revolution, or just to save a young boy's life. I felt it again.

I found a studio down the street. I booked six days. Loaded all of my gear into the car, bought some good, strong fucking coffee, and got back to work. Fourteen songs in five days, with one day to mix. I played every instrument, running from the drums, to the guitar, to the coffee maker, to the bass, to the vocal mike, to the coffee maker, back to the drums, back to the coffee maker . . . here I was again, left to my own devices, with no one to tell me right or wrong, the same one-man band 20 years later, multi-tracking all on my own. Though, long gone were the two-cassette recorders and songs about my dog, my bike, and my dad . . . I was singing songs about starting over. And, maybe a few about my dad ...

I dubbed 100 cassettes. Gave it the name "Foo Fighters" so that people would imagine that it was a GROUP, rather than just one strung-out coffee junkie scrambling from instrument to instrument. I gave them to friends. I gave them to relatives. I gave them to people at gas stations. I was . . . starting over.

It wasn't long before I got the call. An A&R guy. The tape was getting around. Those six days that I spent alone in the studio that I considered to be a demo, I considered it an experiment, I CONSIDERED IT TO BE FUCKING THERAPY, FOR CHRISTSAKES! They thought it was a record! I didn't even have a band! I called my brilliant friend and lawyer, Jill Berliner, for advice. Know what she told me? The musician comes first.

I started my own label, Roswell records. Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, you are staring at the president of a record company.

After all that had happened, deep down I was still the same kid that, at 13 years old, realized I could start my own band, I could write my own song, I could record my own record, I could start my own label, I could release my own record, I could book my own shows, I could write and publish my own fanzine, I could silkscreen my own T-shirts . . . I could do all of this myself. It may have been an entirely different world now, but once again, there was no right or wrong . . . because it was all mine.

From day one the Foo Fighters have been fortunate enough to exist within this perfect world. WE write our songs. WE record our songs. WE make our albums. WE decide when the album is the album. WE OWN the album, and we'll license it to you for a little while, but you gotta give it back. Because it's MINE.

Because I am the musician. And I COME FIRST.

I have to imagine that the reason I am here today in front of you all is exactly this. Am I the best drummer in the world? Certainly not. Am I the best singer-songwriter? Not even in THIS fucking ROOM! But I have been left alone to find MY VOICE since that day that I heard Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein" on that public school turntable in my bedroom. ...


..... Recently, I came home with the new Beatles vinyl box set. It's amazing. It's the size of a fucking Tumi suitcase, it weighs 50 pounds. As I walked into the house, my daughters Harper who's three, and Violet who's six, looked up and gasped, "WHAT IS THAT????" I said, "It's all of the Beatles' RECORDS!!!" Now, I have already spent hours brainwashing them with Beatles songs . . . they're cool. But this was vinyl! They had never seen that before. I set up the turntable in their room, opened the box, and started showing them how it's done. "Ok . . . you take the record out of the sleeve, here are the songs on this side, here are the songs on the other side . . . carefully place it on the turn table . . . gently put the needle down . . . CAREFUL!" They were absolutely BLOWN AWAY. I left the room, came back half an hour later, and there they were, dancing to "Get Back," album covers strewn all over the floor . . . sound familiar? We have all been there. ....

:D